February 2012
6:22. BEAT THE SUN HOME xoxo
my skin stopped hurting so im going back to that party ill sleep when im dead, i’ll help you in the morning when i get home. or afternoon.
Skins Season 3 when the Thomas tells the Drug Lord “I’ll fight you in any way, any weapon, but by myself” and it cuts to them sitting at a table, I thought they were having a staring contest and that was the chosen method for the fight.
who needs friends when you have acquaintances
thecowardicelobster asked: I love your response to that anon. "i'm a fucking wreck, but I'm a fantastic wreck," that literally makes me feel a whole lot better about myself. Thank you.
recoverforthebetter asked: psh, anon, i don't understand why you havent revealed yourself. Obviously you have a lot to hide. >.> P.S YOU, i like yo blog ;D
Anonymous asked: I don't understand why you haven't killed yourself yet.
6 pages of messages teasing me for being a smurf...
dermatologist followers say shower really fast even if it hurts OK GOGOGO
Anonymous asked: If the shirt is new (never been washed) and dark, the blue skin thing is just the dye coming off on your skin. I've had it happen to me before with a new shirt.
2 tags
You know that weird ex partner you were never technically with but did just enough with to make it awkward, who you don’t want to see but if you’re lonely and can’t find anyone else to hang out with you’ll call em up
This should be fun
1 tag
i cant discern if this song is happy or sad
Once again, I am reminded
to trust no one, even me.
They remember things that I did
and rush home to flee the scene.
Once again, they let me know
indirectly, of course, though,
they regret letting me so
close to leaving the shallow.
But I’m leaving the shallows,
I am leaving the shadows,
pushing, breathing as I go,
even if I am alone.
I’m leaving the lowest bowels,...
This boy asked me to prom and I said no but i can give you directions to a real Italian restaurant
Swag
Jk I said regularno
I’m eating the tiniest bit more like a regular person and very happy and have let a lot of new people be my friends however some things are left unsettled
Anonymous asked: Must mean it's true, can't wait for you to look back one day. Night Jenn
meaninglessmeander asked: i miss when you were all about fruits and veggies and protein! you were the one who taught me how to eat right! ironically....ha. so yeah, i mean. i'm just sayin
Anonymous asked: Hun what are you on aside from this "magical pot"? It's a bit of an exaggeration, been there and back again, you want the whole world to know how high you are, when you sober up you realize you could only touch the tops of trees, not clouds.
do you know how awful it feels to listen to your...
Really bad….
doctors the mentally ill have
A nutritional therapist
A social worker
A talktherapy psychologist
Group therapy leader and members
A phd psychiatrist who can prescribe meds
A physicians assistant who handles med doses from psychiatrist
A pediatrician or physical physician
Optional specialized doctors
This is a lot
all of a sudden, everything feels normal and I don’t feel crippled by my own mortality and everything feels positive and I have brothers who aren’t related to me and friends where I for some reason didn’t fucking look and the sun is out and my sister and I get along okay and everything feels possible
why does it feel like someone took a forty pound weight off my chest
I mean...
Tomorrow I’m working on phrasing things more positively
Also today I hotboxed a treehouse tell me that’s not ultimate
I feel like you’re all so obsessed with losing weight before you start your social/romantic lives that you don’t understand you’d probably lose weight if you just lived your life if you forgot about it
nobody really gives a shit how you look, just take care of yourself, no one wants some ~tragically broken~ basketcase, this isn’t fucking skins
I wish you would get fucking sterilized and I’m fairly nihilistic about society and how it turns out so that’s just showing you how much I actually hate you
I had a really nice day actually
1 tag
this is about Nicole she's going to figure it out...
My solute, I saw you, with my thin-covered stare. I called you, dissolved you to your skin-colored hair, appalled you, resolved to immunize you or solve you, involved you til I lost you, until you couldn’t care.
I bawled to, and on you, the way lovers dare to.
And you, you put up with enough, enough, in the ring, you put them up, but then it was too much when the ring turned to three, and...
1 tag
this is pretty old and not about you sorry
I watched them from behind, on the wedding side. When she leaned in, she was so thin I actually cried. I watched them fall in love i’d never know the comfort of. (but my tears, they disappeared as I decided to die)
Because, watching him, I realize he’s only a goal, and his qualities are small to me; he’s nothing special… besides, relations are imagination, just like love....
Anonymous asked: Jenn if the only reason you're not getting better is because no one is giving you a reason to, you need to take a step back and re-evaluate your situation. You're like, 17? 16? You have the whole world in front of you, and just because you've got a couple of shitty friends and doctors who dump you it doesn't mean everyone's going to be like that. You've only met a...
Anonymous asked: you are loved. i know it feels impossible to believe that right now, but you are. and i'm not saying this to be trite or get attention for having talked to such a popular tumblr-er. i truly mean it. i know i know nothing about your story, but i can say that i understand pain. and that your life matters.
Lol everybody says ask for help but what if everyone you ask ends up hurting you and only an idiot would continue hundreds of times
Lol also sometimes people EVEN DOCTORS just say no which is fine I mean its a real option and I appreciate the honesty I mean other than that no ones honest anymore
My doctor dumped me, two straight months of bulimia stuck nearly ten pounds on me, my grandma is in the ER, I haven’t taken tens of tests or done the assignments, and I have not one person I genuinely trust or enjoy talking to without pain.
I am living with no goals and for no purpose.
I’m a nihilist turned hedonist who can’t find any place, action, or purpose that...
I will be deleting my blog or going on a very long hiatus in about a week.
Other people can help you.
I don’t want to anymore.
this is the only warning you’re getting.
besides. i’m liking the no-cell-phone-no-facebook-no-one-can-contact-me thing.
knowing who my allies are.
in-the-aeroplane-over-the-sea:
how-to-be-a-skinny-bitch:
a classmate of mine died in july and it was horrible and some wannabe-mother-theresa Goodie-Goodie types are holding some kind of fucking dance in his honor and honest to god it pisses me off because they didn’t even fucking know him
his parents were the ones who brought up the idea. they knew him.
saw a certain small person running...
e-m-p-t-y-l-i-v-i-n-g:
Today this random lady that was leading our group in partial was like “Chelsea, so it appears that since you purge sometimes, you have EDNOS?”
I was like “Mmmmm, No no no. It’s anorexia and purge disorder. Look at my chart.”
I was offended. It’s so rude and self centered of me, but it’s true.
the other day, my art teacher said, “Oh, twiggy? Yeah, she was...
ptessadactyl:
how-to-be-a-skinny-bitch:
a classmate of mine died in july and it was horrible and some wannabe-mother-theresa Goodie-Goodie types are holding some kind of fucking dance in his honor and honest to god it pisses me off because they didn’t even fucking know him
who holds a dance for someone who recently died? that’s sounds pretty morbid and insincere.
it’s for some kind...
a classmate of mine died in july and it was horrible and some wannabe-mother-theresa Goodie-Goodie types are holding some kind of fucking dance in his honor and honest to god it pisses me off because they didn’t even fucking know him
im going to go scream through tears in the shower and see if it makes everyone else go the fuck away
i thought that your being an asshole was excusable because of your situation but then i realized i was just being generous and you’re legitimately a gigantic asshole
allyourlostcontrol asked: Your wordplay never fails to astound me.
16 tags
I want to punch all my "friends" in their souls.
Beat whores’ hornets’ nests with a stick, crumble them to pieces. In fight town, they’ll bite down on your dick, for a W.A.S.P.y college thesis. Smoke one, toke one, conclude that you’ve broken one, stoke some fire, come play with some local dumb. Caught with your cock on the hot spot, docked in her pink cotton frock her daddy forgot to lock, and sell her substances to...
Today on THE JENN SHOW:
friends you just want to tell, “shut the fuck up and quit whining, you hypocritical inconsiderate asshole.”
getting yelled at for “considering suicide” (was I?)
getting yelled at for NOT COMMITTING suicide.
being publicly and privately berated by people I trusted bar none.
a dentist appointment
a disproportionately pleasant mood (despite full betrayal and distaste...
anothernightwithnocontrol asked: ever listened to Untitled 1? Pure fucking art
other major breakthrough: sometimes even the nicest of people are selfish assholes (selfishness causing asshole qualities), but that’s okay because whatever I can’t do anything about it other than make myself better from it.